OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
