Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
