Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
