There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize