love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
