so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
