put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
