if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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