white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
