She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
