god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
try to milk me bitch
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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