I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Randomize
