i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize