nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
