I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
