thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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