What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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