Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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