I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
