What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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