made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
These tits shall not be calmed
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