worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
