Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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