I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
