hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
