who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
