that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize