I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
