It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
