I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
