dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
