would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize