Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
