I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
