OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
