The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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