My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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