I hate your face
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
