oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
