foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
