You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
