in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize