We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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