When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
