i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
