just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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