Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
