There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
