Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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