Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
