ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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