Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
