i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
