He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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