LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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