I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
