i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
