margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
