Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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