i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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