bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
where does the pee come out of this thing
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
