You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
