I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
