Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
