We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Randomize
