Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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