just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
