just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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