I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize