This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
