ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
