Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
