How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
