PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
