I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize