Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
