just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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