Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
