I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
