Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
