You can't special order awesome
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize