he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
