i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize